he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
the liver wants what the liver wants
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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