All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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