try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
