dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize