: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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