maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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