I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
