i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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