And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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