It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize