When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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