THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
