Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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