End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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