Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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