Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
