somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
