I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize