he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
