You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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