I'm laying in your front yard are you home
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
