I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
