ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
