Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
