Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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