Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
