mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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