You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Couch. On fire.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
