hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
