he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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