Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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