I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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