I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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