she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
