fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize