I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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