Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
