We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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