ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
as a side note pls kill me
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize