i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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