She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
bring money and cleavage
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
