idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
