You're completely useless in the revolution.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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