chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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