just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
