I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
