Who wears a wallet chain?!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Acid is not a monday night drug
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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