And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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