He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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