Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
