oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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