My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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