Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
