The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
