Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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