Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My dick has a subreddit
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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