It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
