i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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