Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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