We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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