I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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