I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
