I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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