bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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