we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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