Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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