Im at strip club and am horny
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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