We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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