He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
